Family & Home 1,225 views Dec 24, 2015
Ladies: 14 Things That May Explain Why He Won’t Sleep With You

I’ve had a number of conversations with Lady-friends about guys who just won’t sleep with them. Hopefully today’s post can shed some light on this situation.


I’ve had a number of conversations with some Lady-friends lately about guys who just won’t sleep with them. It bothers them. It’s almost uncomfortable to discuss each time because a lot of feelings of insecurity come up from their end. Eventually it leads to what I’m guessing is an age-old question of “Why won’t he sleep with me?” Especially if he’s slept with “plenty” of other people.


Well hopefully today’s post can shed some light on this situation for a few Ladies. I ask that my fellow Gents clarify where necessary.


If a guy doesn’t want to have sex with you – it could mean…



That he really likes you. You’re special. Be proud of that. If he’s been around with a few women and chooses to wait with you – it may be that he’s experienced the short lived cheap thrills of “Hey you’re hot and that’s it” sex and he just wants something a little bit more with you. He may be a heart-breaker who just doesn’t want to hurt you either.


That he’s not as interested as you are. Unless he’s a dog or just thinking with what’s in his pants – he’ll be considerate of the imbalance of feelings that are present. He may just be waiting for his feelings to grow, but he may also accept the fact that he may never reach that point you’re at. You both HAVE to be ok with this if he’s this way.



That he’s worried you’re crazy. There’s nothing worse than a fatal attraction because you never know what will set the woman off. If he has any inkling of a feeling that you’d snap and attack him one day if you two don’t work out – most men know not to get involved in that one from jump/the beginning.


He’s just gotten out of a raw deal. If he’s been distant – he may have been burned (emotionally). His last Lady may have cheated. He might not be telling you a lot about his past because it’s full of painful memories and he doesn’t want to introduce you to his baggage. Maybe you should ask him about this one. If he’s bothered – leave it alone.


He’s honestly been messing with someone else. This does happen sometimes. It’s called “abusing” being single. Haha! Sure he may not have any loyalties anywhere – but he may really be feeling another person and NOT wanting to “seriously cheat” on them further than he already has with you up to that point.


He has intimacy issues. No one likes to admit that they just can’t trust themselves emotionally with another person – but sometimes it’s the truth. One sure indicator of this would be if he’s always bringing up a bad relationship from his past (or multiple ones at that).


He has standards/rules/a code. He may just believe in getting to know the individual he’s about to sleep with first. He may want to apply a “set number of dates” rule first (ever heard of the “5 Date Rule”?) before sealing the deal physically with someone. Is that so bad? I know it’s old-fashioned, but really, is that so bad?


That he’s conscious of his performance. He might just be fearful that you wouldn’t like it. You two are doing well on the “relationship” side of things – why complicate it with sex? Most Gents will NEVER tell you this one… it’s kind of against Guy Code of Pride or something. But some will…


He thinks you’re clingy. If you’re always under him when you two haven’t even done the naked tango yet – he may be worried about how doing that will amplify your sense of attachment. Some – not all – men really enjoy their space. The thought of you ALWAYS wanting to be around now that the physical barrier is officially crossed could “frighten” the beJesus out of him.


He’s super religious or just a virgin. If he’s deep in his faith – one aspect of it may be to not lay with a woman you aren’t married to. You’ve gotta’ respect that. As far as the virgin thing… Um… Have you seen 40 Year Old Virgin? If not – go rent it. I’ll let that movie explain that one.


He’s just not into you physically. You seriously may rock his world at a conversational level – but he just may not think you’re that up to par physically. In most instances this won’t be the case – a lot of men just aren’t wired that way (to get down with a woman they aren’t attracted to up to the point of sex).

That he’s trying to plan an exit strategy. He may have decided that you aren’t the one and be trying to avoid making things go any further down the emotional/physical-rabbit hole. If you’re worried about this one – just ask him. Trust me. He may not bring it up himself – but you’d have given him an out. If this is the case, he’ll take it.


That he’s ultimately trying to get his Life right. He may have just decided that he’s getting too mature for the whole sex before relationship bit. It happens with some folks. Looking at things in the wholesome “Game of LIFE” kind of sense – sex comes AFTER he makes you his lady.


He’s playing a game older than time itself. It’s popular belief that a lot of people want what they can’t have. If you’re a stone cold foxy lady (yeah – I brought it back) – he may be trying to keep you around by showing you that he’s not easy game. People love getting what they want – but most just don’t like easy… Yes Ladies… Some Gents play that game well too.


Seriously though – there’s a ton of other things I could get into with this one, but I choose not to. I don’t say that “he’s gay” — for some reason, I just don’t feel like a gay guy would put himself in the position of leading you on like that during an age when he could just come out. Plus – lol – don’t people normally reserve that whole fiasco for their wives? I’m just saying. That’s an example of the places I could go with this – but I won’t.


So what are your theories? When a sexually active guy doesn’t want to have sex with an attractive young lady throwing herself at him – what do you think is the deal? Feel free to expand on anything I said, or just add new reasons in the Comment Section below.


Peace, and thanks for reading.


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